Amused

I am often amazed at how little I knew myself and the world around me before. There is a change these days in how I take things - I no longer feel confused like before when something unexpected happens. I am amused. I find myself looking at things curiously and find myself smiling, even if it happens to be a painful experience. The fact that I am able to look at the naked truth, painful/joyous as it may be, gives me peace. I am often amused at the things people discuss or choose to talk about(how very predictable), at the way I react during these conversations(such a fake, learned response), at the way I judge them later(how futile it is to try and remain non-judgmental), at the way I feel guilty for thinking things I shouldn't(what happened to the good, ol' self-righteous me?!) and at the way I decide to not take it too personally (oh come on! you are just human!).

The point? - getting to know yourself is really a funny thing. You understand and accept your shallowness with abandon. You would still pass judgement at others, but you will be able to accept them whole heartedly too 'coz somewhere you understand them just as do yourself. With all the glory that is you, you also see all the dirt that is you. An acceptance of one's self is humbling, disturbing, embarrassing, disgusting and relieving.