Parents and In-Laws
Do I ever want my parents in their old age to live with us? If need be, certainly. But I would rather they live near by so that I can visit them regularly/every other day, take care of them and can also give them enough space to grow old without ever feeling that they are indeed getting old.
Do I ever want my in-laws to live with us when they are old? I guess my answer remains the same as above.
I would never be comfortable moving into my parents home with my husband to take care of them. Why? Because Husband and I have a very different lifestyle than them. I am sure it would be the same with my in-laws too. And guess what? I don't think they would be much happier with this arrangement either. Why? The same reason. They have lead their lives in a very different manner - surrounded by their group of friends and family of their own generation.
What do you think on this? Would you like your parents/in-laws to move in with you? Do you think they might need their own space?
I am sometimes afraid I am becoming too western in my ideas:(
2 Brainy Bits:
I do not think you are becoming more western in your ideas/approaches.
I think of marriage as an extension of your own self, provided the spouse is all understanding and supportive and normal. And more often than not, we ladies are not totally ourselves in our parents' homes. By this I mean that some things we keep private to ourselves when single - like wanting to live in a particular way, different than how we live with our parents/in-laws, or having different objects of affection than our parents or in-laws, etc. And these aspects do get reflected in our post-marriage lifestyle.
Aside from the facts that you have stated - like letting them have the freedom of aging by themselves, and letting them be free of any feeling of burdensomeness, I think it is best to make them free of any discomfort first. I think you are very right in your thoughts at this.
You are right in what you said. People change over the period of time and they may not be the same as they were as youngsters.
My lifestyle mainly differs from my parents when it comes to religious and social situations. I am more a believer of spirituality than religion whereas my parents are devoted Hindus. It would be difficult for me to follow their lifestyle or to have them accept my more liberal outlook in life. Also, my husband and I are more social then our parents.
That said, I agree we can make adjustments to accommodate differences. It simply would need a little more effort:).
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