Good to be back..:)

It has been a hectic year. Lotsa of changes but somethings remained the same too.
Those that changed and those that did not:

1. I did.
2. Hubby did not.
3. New friends changed
4. Old friends did not
5. My body changed
6. My brain did not - or may be I did not notice it as much:)
7. My mom did
8. My dad remained the same
9. My car did.
10 My home did not
11. My taste in books did
12. My taste in music did not
13. My dreams did
14. My hopes did not
15. The world did
16. The people did not...

And so life kept going - with a mix of changing and constant colors splashed everywhere.
****************************************************************************************************

This is already the middle of December and a new year is approaching again. I have a smaller Christmas tree to decorate this time - but this is a real one. Not the plastic one I decorated every year. Am I as excited as I've always been this time of the year? This time it is much less exciting and a bit more dull - dunno why.

Anna hazare

I am in a fix on how to support this great man in his sincere efforts to at least try to get his country out of the the corruption gutter.

Just...

Things chance and people move apart. With them, they take away the interest with which you meet someone new for the first time. With time, I feel less interested in meeting new people and making friends out of them. So much effort! So fleeting the friendship! After the profit-loss analysis, you know it is just not worth the time.

Growing old is such an naked process. You see yourself changing as if in front of a mirror.

Sad

The tragedy in Japan reminds me of a line I heard long time ago - 'Dunia mein kitna gam hai, mera gam kitna kam hai'. I am beginning to feel guilty for living in confort and really ashamed of my petty self for thinking I had pains. Nothing comes close to what people on the same planet are dealing with right now.

I hope they come out of this mess much stronger than before. The grace with which they are trying to handle the situation is commendable. 'True Grit' was coined for the Japanese. May God be with them.

The week that was...

This past week started and ended on very interesting notes.
Actually, it was the last weekend that started this long interesting link of events.

Last weekend, we decided to ditch the usual lunch/dinner/shopping/movie with friends for a quick trip to the hill country. We left at around 7 pm on Friday from houston to Kerrville. The lazy Satruday got interesting when we visited a cave in the woods. Sunday was a short trip to Freidricksberg where I bough an amazing Indian quilt (I have been sleeping much better since - it a jaipuri rajaaii that I have been dreaming about for a long time and finally found it... that too in a German town located in the deep interiors of Texas) and had dinner at our favorite restaurant. We headed back on sunday with a happy heart and quite head - Bliss!

On Monday, we went to a cafe where amateur artists showcase their talents - one of our friends was reading his poetry. He got a standing ovation from us (but of course), and from others in the audience. The H-town hasn't stopped amazing me yet. We got to listen to some amazing live guitar and had a yum floating ice coffee. I am thankful for such friendships that keep our mind open and expose us to new experiences.

Tuesday was my regular Zumba class at 24hourfitness. A new trainer, who was in her 50s and initially seemed too easy on us, picked up pretty fast and at the end of the hour, I was huffing my lungs out. nice!

Wednesday and Thursday were not as eventful. Friday of course was back with the bang and right after office hours, we headed straight to Bombay Pizza for a quick dinner with a few friends followed by BMG (Blue Man Group) event. Fun Fun Fun:)! The music was loud and this was our first time at Jones Hall. I have a feeling we are going to a regular there.

Saturday was totally packed with meeting a close friend of 10 years (who is leaving Hosuton for Dallas) for his kinds' birthday party. So many people in the last couple of years have left this place - we feel we constantly are losing friends. There are new relationships for sure but then no relationship is ever replaceable. No two relations have the same feel. So yes, we are going to terribly miss the two little babies they are taking with them, and we would miss not seeing them grow into Texan cowgirls any more.

Sunday morning - a nice lazy brunch at Cricket - a vegetarian place we went to the first time in Heights. A quick coffee with another couple at Antedote drew us to the end of our weekend.

Time won't stop and I can't turn it around

After a long time, I missed my family. No. I miss them often, but I am not talking about that kind of missing.

I am talking of the kind when you 'know' you made a bad choice leaving them at the first place - that kind. I had no words to tell my grandma on phone when she sternly told me to not miss her so much, AND to just save enough chhutti to arrive within a day's notice if a call comes from nanihaal. and I sang her favorite song to her -'Tumse milne ko dil karta hai re baba' (she loves this song and would often sing it when we visited her).

When I invited my grandparents to visit us here, they said no. They are too old for the long journey and I did not insist. I am afraid too. They look so frail these days.

I still miss my dadaji who is no more and It's been years. I don't know how to stop the time or to turn it around. Life is a one way highway with no exits and all we can do is try to keep pace with the traffic 'coz there is no turning back now.

Tamam umr ka hisaab maangti hai zindagi...

Such songs must be censored. Why think so much when you can live in peace w/o such disturbance?

5 things I wish I could bring into my life:

1. Sleep on time. I think in the past 10 years, I haven't slept once before 12.
2. Not trust everyone. I still take words at face value. Stab me and I would think you must've been aiming for something else.
3. Eat out less often. Bad habits die hard and this one has been around since college days when I lived on Jimmy John's #6 (they deliver at 4 too).
4. Love kids less. I want to kidnap every cute kid around(skip the entire baby making process and get a few of my choice and liking).
5. Get real! I live in a world of my own making. This doesn't help when you are holding on a job, running a house, dealing with relatives and making 'practical' decisions.

Amused

I am often amazed at how little I knew myself and the world around me before. There is a change these days in how I take things - I no longer feel confused like before when something unexpected happens. I am amused. I find myself looking at things curiously and find myself smiling, even if it happens to be a painful experience. The fact that I am able to look at the naked truth, painful/joyous as it may be, gives me peace. I am often amused at the things people discuss or choose to talk about(how very predictable), at the way I react during these conversations(such a fake, learned response), at the way I judge them later(how futile it is to try and remain non-judgmental), at the way I feel guilty for thinking things I shouldn't(what happened to the good, ol' self-righteous me?!) and at the way I decide to not take it too personally (oh come on! you are just human!).

The point? - getting to know yourself is really a funny thing. You understand and accept your shallowness with abandon. You would still pass judgement at others, but you will be able to accept them whole heartedly too 'coz somewhere you understand them just as do yourself. With all the glory that is you, you also see all the dirt that is you. An acceptance of one's self is humbling, disturbing, embarrassing, disgusting and relieving.

Mere piya gaye rangoon...

Not really. but hubby dear has been vacationing in Europe for many days now since all the flights to the US are canceled.

My first day at my new job(YAY! got one!) has not been so eventful since Husband was away on an official trip to Europe. It's been more than 10 days and there is no sign when I would see him. Somehow, even when the flights start, the idea of the planes flying in the dirty skies is scary.

Keeping my fingers crossed!